How to Help Wedding Guests Feel Comfortable When They Don't Know Each Other

You've invited your closest friends, family and favourite people to your wedding. There's just one small problem. Quite a few of them have never met.

Your university friends don't know your work colleagues. Your partner's relatives might be meeting your family for the first time. And there's always the possibility that Uncle David will spend the entire reception talking about his new conservatory to someone who's too polite to escape.

It's perfectly normal. A wedding brings together people from different parts of your life, and you can't expect them all to become instant friends.

But a little thought about how people meet, mingle and settle in can make a real difference to the atmosphere of your day.

1. Think about the people, not just the seating plan

A wedding seating plan isn't simply a complicated exercise in fitting everyone around tables without upsetting Auntie Margaret.

It's about helping people enjoy themselves.

You might be tempted to seat all your friends together and all your partner's friends somewhere else. Sometimes that works perfectly well, but spare a thought for the guests who know very few other people.

Could you seat them with someone friendly who shares an interest? Are there people in your family who have a natural ability to make others feel welcome?

You don't need everyone to become lifelong friends. Just give them a comfortable starting point.

2. Don't overlook the drinks reception

The drinks reception is one of my favourite parts of a wedding. The formalities of the ceremony are over, everyone's beginning to relax, and there's usually a glass of something involved.

It's also the point when the happy couple disappear for photographs, leaving their guests to entertain themselves.

Some will happily chat for an hour. Others might find themselves standing with a drink, wondering whether they should introduce themselves to the people beside them or simply study the flower arrangements.

A little thought about this part of the day can help. Make sure guests know where to go, that drinks are easy to find and that there's somewhere comfortable to sit.

And consider whether you'd like something happening that gives people a natural reason to start talking.

3. Give people something in common, even if it's only for five minutes

One of the easiest ways to bring strangers together is to give them a shared experience.

That might be a garden game, an unusual guest book, a collection of photographs or some entertainment. It doesn't need to be elaborate.

As a magician, I get to see this happen quite often.

At Matt and Alex's wedding at Caswell House, I spent the drinks reception moving between small groups of guests, performing close-up magic.

Of course, I enjoy the magic itself. But one of my favourite parts of performing is watching what happens afterwards.

People laugh, look at each other, try to work out what they've just seen and start comparing theories. Some of those theories are wonderfully inventive. Occasionally, they're more entertaining than the trick.

And suddenly, people who may have been strangers a few minutes earlier have something in common.

They've all just witnessed something rather odd.

4. Don't force people to have fun

Not everybody enjoys being the centre of attention. Some guests love getting involved, while others would rather sit quietly and catch up with an old friend.

And that's absolutely fine.

If you're planning entertainment, think about whether people can enjoy it without feeling obliged to participate.

It's one reason I enjoy close-up magic at weddings. I can move between small groups, involve those who want to join in and leave everyone else to enjoy their conversations.

Nobody needs to be dragged onto a stage or persuaded to wear a ridiculous hat.

Unless, of course, that's already part of your wedding plans.

5. Remember the guests who arrive on their own

Imagine arriving at a wedding where you recognise precisely one person.

Unfortunately, that person is the bride, and she's understandably rather busy.

It's easy to overlook how uncomfortable that might feel when you're surrounded by people you know.

A simple introduction beforehand can help. You might arrange for a friendly relative to welcome someone, or make sure they're seated with people who'll include them in the conversation.

It doesn't require a grand gesture. Sometimes, being introduced to just one friendly face is enough.

6. Leave room for the unexpected

You don't need to fill every moment of your wedding day with organised activities.

Some of the nicest moments happen when nobody has planned anything.

Old friends catch up, families exchange stories, children do something completely unpredictable, and two people discover they went to the same school twenty years apart.

You can't organise those moments. And you probably wouldn't want to.

What you can do is create the kind of atmosphere where people feel comfortable enough for them to happen.

It's the people who make the day

When you look back on your wedding, you'll remember the ceremony, the speeches, the food and the dancing.

But you'll also remember the atmosphere.

Were people relaxed? Were they laughing? Did everyone feel part of the celebrations?

It's worth giving those questions a little thought while you're planning, particularly during the quieter parts of the day when you're busy elsewhere.

And if you're considering close-up magic for your wedding drinks reception, it can be a lovely way to bring people together without interrupting everything else that's happening.

After all, the magic isn't just what happens in someone's hands.

Sometimes it's what happens between the people watching.

I'm Brian Storey, a professional magician and Member of The Magic Circle, based in St Ives, Cambridgeshire. I perform close-up magic at weddings across Cambridgeshire, London and beyond.

If you're planning your wedding, you can find out more at https://www.brianstoreymagic.com.